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First published in Polish by Agnieszka Leśny

The concept of Nonviolent Communication [NVC] is well-known among those involved in education. In teacher education, NVC is vital for building healthy and constructive relationships with students, colleagues and parents. The approach can inspire teachers to effectively resolve conflicts, support students in expressing their feelings and needs and create a supportive and safe learning environment. With NVC, teachers can more effectively support students' emotional and social development, which is crucial to their overall educational success. NVC also has many personal benefits for the learner; it helps them regulate their emotions and life energy and set boundaries. Educators, teacher educators, sometimes parents or whole boards of education take part in numerous courses, trainings and other forms of support. So why is NVC not common in Polish schools?

What is Non-Violent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication is sometimes referred to as a method of communication, a 'language of the heart', although NVC practitioners are more likely to say that it is more than that; it is an approach to life, a way of deepening contact with oneself and others. The creator of NVC was Marshall Rosenberg, for whom it was important to develop empathy and mutual respect through, among other things, the effective expression of needs and feelings. NVC assumes that all people have the exact fundamental needs and that conflicts arise from different strategies for meeting those needs.

Tools, techniques or something more?

For a long time, I treated NVC as a tool. At various trainings, I often saw the same slide, describing the 4-step method (one of the techniques used in NVC) and conversation patterns inspired by guessing needs. In my trainer's toolbox, NVC was in the same compartment as various feedback techniques — just one approach among many.

I found out how wrong I was when I joined a so-called empathy practice group. This is one form of NVC practice, consisting of regular meetings where you practise various techniques but mainly 'immerse' yourself and communicate in an empathic language. It took many weeks before I realised what a difference this approach makes to how I communicate and that it takes much practice to get NVC going. I also realised that when one functions in environments with a completely different approach, it is very difficult to 'persevere' in NVC. However, where you are surrounded by other people for whom empathic communication is natural, over time, without knowing when, it is easy to 'soak it up' and apply it without much difficulty. I think this correlation hides one of the answers as to why NVC – although it has so many benefits – is not common in educational institutions.

This work unsplash by Taylor Flowe is licensed under Creative Commons Zero v1.0 Universal

^{Photo by Taylor Flowe, source: Unsplash}

Building an empathetic environment

Suppose we wanted more empathic communication in and for education. In that case, we should infuse everyone involved in education with this approach and create and learn about tools to support it — from the staff training future educators to the leaders managing the institutions, the teachers themselves, the students, and the parents. Meanwhile, the market is dominated by NVC training and courses focused mainly on adult-child (teacher-student) relationships. These can bring many benefits and tools but will not contribute to embracing empathic communication in the whole school environment. 

NVC-inspired school mediation

An interesting and non-obvious proposal for building an empathetic environment in schools was developed by Joanna Berendt, Paulina Orbitowska-Fernandez and Maja Wyborska – empathetic communication trainers, who created the 'Student Mediator' programme, which aims to teach pupils to mediate in the spirit of NVC. The programme offers teachers tools and scenarios to carry out activities that teach students empathic communication and conflict resolution. 

One of the inspirations for the programme came from Paulina Orbitowska-Fernandez's attempts to 'introduce' NVC to her school while she was working as a head teacher. Her history of successes and failures and her knowledge of teachers' needs influenced the programme's overall design. Adults acquire these competencies by learning to support peer mediation skills, which they can use in their relationships with parents or other school staff. An interesting feature of this proposal is the assumption that the teacher does not have to be a master of NVC or mediation. The programme is structured with the idea that young people and adults learn together, experimenting and practising together. In this way, the two most important groups in the school begin to apply this approach in their communication and build an empathetic environment together.

Where to begin?

The programme's authors encourage experimentation with the programme at different levels and with other groups involved in creating an enabling (all!) environment in the school. In addition to the apparent invitation to teachers to work with their students, they encourage the programme's inclusion in teacher training courses and any form of pedagogical qualification. The prompts in the materials may also interest parents looking for interesting developmental materials. 

It is worth noting that the authors created the programme — including the e-book with scenarios — pro bono to support building an empathetic school environment. This was made possible by the voluntary commitment and support of the actors brought together by this mission. All materials are free and can be downloaded from https://widzeczlowieka.pl/uczen-mediatorem.

Now, the authors have another dream – they would like to translate the e-book into other languages to enable the programme to be used in different countries. They are looking for funding or people who would like to volunteer to join this mission. If you are one such person, please get in touch with them via the project page.

dr Agnieszka Leśny – pedagogue and cultural studies scholar, scientifically affiliated with the Faculty of Pedagogy of the University of Warsaw. She works in project mode in various areas of education and business. She specialises in building commitment, effective communication, talent management, working on the team's strengths, and creating and implementing a vision of change in organisations. She uses experiential education methodologies focusing on outdoor/adventure education (adventure pedagogy) and games and gamification. Co-designer of several games, including the first management game about the so-called Gallup talents, "Expedition of Power". President of the Science and Adventure Workshop Foundation. She is pursuing a doctoral project on 'School under sail' cruises. EPALE Ambassador.