What is a Death Café?

A Death Café, or Café Mortel in French, is an informal gathering where people come together to openly discuss death and end-of-life care. Initiated in 2004 by Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz and popularized by Jon Underwood in the UK in 2011, this concept aims to demystify death and encourage discussions around this often taboo subject. Death is often expressed in an emphatic way. The Death Café encourages people to express themselves more directly, without fear, and spontaneously. Participants can share their thoughts, experiences, fears, and questions about death in a welcoming and respectful environment.

A research project led by teachers-researchers from Prefics since 2017, focusing on caregivers for Alzheimer's patients, has shown an interest in the issues of care and end-of-life care. One of them, Frédéric Pugnière-Saavedra, teacher and researcher at the University of South Brittany (UBS) and deputy director of the PREFICS laboratory, is committed to the issues of care and end-of-life care. He was also a contributor to the citizen convention held at the Economic, Social, and Environmental Council (Cese) between December 9, 2022, and April 2, 2023. Building on this experience, in April 2024, he initiated an experiment with a Death Café at the heart of the Tohannic university campus, UBS, in Vannes. (A next session is also planned for the Lorient campus in November 2024). 30 people - students, university staff accompanied by their spouse and/or friend - gathered for this event.

This work "Death Café" by Roseline Le Squère is licensed under All rights reserved

How to Organize a Death Café?

Organizing a Death Café is relatively simple and accessible. The key steps to organize such an event are:

1. Choose a location and date: Death Cafés can take place in cafes, libraries, community centers, or even at someone's home. What matters is choosing a location where participants feel comfortable and where discussions can unfold without interruption. In the case of UBS, it was a classic room, reserved for institutional activities.
2. Invite participants: Advertising can be done through social media, local posters, newsletters, or word-of-mouth. It's crucial to specify that the event is open to everyone and that no prior preparation is necessary.
3. Create a welcoming environment: Offering refreshments helps create a relaxed and convivial atmosphere. Having seating and an arrangement that allows for group discussions are also important.
4. Facilitate discussion: One or several facilitators can be present to guide discussions, ask open-ended questions, and ensure everyone has the opportunity to express themselves. The goal is not to direct the conversation but to allow each person to share their thoughts freely. In the case of UBS, a professional celebrant of civil funerals and storyteller, Noémie Robert, led the entire sequence, reminding participants that she was intervening as a living being, and therefore, a mortal.
5. Respect confidentiality and mutual respect: It's crucial to establish basic rules to ensure discussions remain respectful and confidential. What is said at the Death Café stays at the Death Café. In the case of UBS, initially open to students and staff, we could have thought that participating in such an event at their workplace and place of study would bring significant biases in terms of posture and open dialogue possibilities. Talking about death at work is not easy. We cross paths with students, colleagues, and reveal something. Frédéric Pugnière-Saavedra opened the sequence by reminding participants of the importance of leaving social masks at the door to allow for unencumbered speech with minimal bias. The goal was to enable free expression with as little bias as possible.

The Social Added Value of Death Cafés

Death Cafes bring numerous social benefits, both at the individual and community levels:

1. Breaking the taboo of death: By offering a space to discuss death, Death Cafes contribute to normalizing this topic and reducing the fear and anxiety surrounding it. Participants learn to view death as a natural part of life. The interest in leaving "social clothes" at the door of the event also lies in the possibility of fully enjoying this sharing time by approaching, simply, a community of humans without identified social roles.
2. Strengthening community bonds: These events create opportunities for encounters and deep connections between people who might not have otherwise interacted. Sharing personal experiences can strengthen bonds and create a sense of solidarity and mutual understanding.
3. Fostering mental well-being: This is not a therapeutic space with theoretical expectations. People speak from the heart and gut. The goal is to create links between the living. Talking about death and its fears can be comforting for participants who realize they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. It can also lead some participants to live a more fulfilling and conscious life, valuing every moment.
4. Encouraging end-of-life discussions: Death Cafes encourage people to talk about their wishes and plans for the end of life, which can help individuals and their families prepare for this stage with more serenity and clarity.

Death Cafes are much more than just discussions about death. They are spaces for sharing, reflection, and connection that enrich the lives of participants by helping them approach death with honesty and openness. They show that talking about death can, paradoxically, enrich our way of living.

For one evening, a collective comes together in the form of an ephemeral community exploring representations of death. It's worth noting that less than 5% of people today practice religion daily, yet 74% of funeral ceremonies are religious. Therefore, at the moment of dying, it takes on a special significance.

The Death Cafe is associated with a movement for citizen-led alternatives, aiming to reclaim spaces and subjects related to funerals. Behind this movement lies a militant civic engagement. Born in Switzerland 20 years ago by Bernard Crettaz (a specialist in funeral rites), Death Cafes take place all over the world. To learn more: <deadcafe.com>.

Associated bibliography

Death Cafes - Bringing Death Out of Silence, by Bernard Crettaz, 978-2-8309-1390-3, 2010Repairing the Living, by Maylis de Kerangal, EAN: 9782072574795, 304 pages, 2014

These two works are examples to help understand, first through a novel, the journey of reflection on death to aid acceptance, decision-making, and life that continues; and then to grasp the principle of the Death Cafe.

Cf. in ressources center, a special bibliography about "Death Cafes" (in french).

This article was written by Roseline Le Squère, thematic expert for EPALE France.